Happy New Year!
It got to a point not so long ago where if things got difficult or I was struggling I would go home and hide in my bedroom. I’d play my music, watch something, read and just let myself slip into my own little dreamworld.
I could pretend to be someone else or be somewhere else and it felt safe cocooned within four walls and all tucked up. However really I’d been hiding myself away from the world, I was missing out on real life, how many opportunities had passed me by?
Well all that is changing and I’m ready to say goodbye to the old me. I’ve left a lot of me behind in 2017 but I’ve been glad to do it.
I’m welcoming 2018 with open arms, ready for change, growth, new challenges and risk taking. To help me stay on track I have my final two rules!
Rule no.4 Let things go
It is so important to let things go. You are only hurting yourself by holding on to them. Now I’ve had relationships I couldn’t get over, losses I couldn’t handle, resentment and anger I’d let build and I also carried shame over my own actions if I’d hurt people or behaved in a way I regretted. No more!
Stepping in to 2018 I’m wiping the slate clean. I’m forgiving the people that I can, letting go of the resentment I’ve held on to. I’m letting go of the people that are holding me back or who are not good people to have around you. I’m forgiving myself and asking for forgiveness from those I’ve hurt. I’m not carrying bad feelings forward.
Now I’ve been there where you think ‘I can’t move on’ and ‘It’s never going to get better’ but it does it just takes time. I’d have one good day where I’d think I’m moving on, letting go and then I’d have 7 bad days and tell myself I wasn’t going to be able to do it. Really that one day wasn’t a sign of failure but a sign of things to come, if I could have one good day then down the line I could have 2, then 3, then 8, then 20 and so on and so on. Just remember it takes time, baby steps are necessary, don’t put pressure on yourself to do it over night but just try an hour, a day , two at a time. Build it up slowly and you will get there. You will start to feel lighter, the weight you’ve been carrying is starting to lift and when that happens you will start to enjoy things more which has positive effects on everything, how you see yourself, your relationships, attitude, quality of life.
So go for it and celebrate the victories instead of dwelling on the lows.
Rule no. 5 Remembering the good
Yes, the good! How easy is it to indulge in your misery? play the sad songs? watch the sad film? How easy is it to remember the bad things people say and not the good? How easy is it to remember your lowest moments instead of your highs?
Well this rule is all about focussing on the highs, remembering the good in your life to keep you focussed and keep you motivated. This doesn’t have to be much but it’s important to remember.
I have people who care about me, I’m an auntie and I love it, I also love my cats. I love my music and find great comfort in it. I have a job, even if i don’t like it, I still have one!
It feels good just saying it, reminding yourself there is some good there and that’s your base you start with that and go ok I have this and I’m thankful for it but I want to change……
Personal challenge: to remind myself each day of at least one good thing in my life be it friends, family, a work colleague, pets, art, music or exercise. Anything, it doesn’t matter just one thing that makes me feel a bit better.
Because there are times where I haven’t appreciated the good and I haven’t made the most of having the good either. This happens when you’re low, you can be very selfish and not see the bigger picture but a little reminder never hurts!!
The final two rules done!
I’m ready for 2018 and I hope you are too!